The 80s was undeniably a decade that changed horror movies. The advancement of special effects and the rise of video nasties simultaneously legitimized and created a taboo around the genre. It also led to a torrent of creature features and low-budget slashers that live in infamy.
Maybe because of these things, the decade is also known for having the most “so bad they’re good” horror movies. Unfortunately, it also led to a lot of “so bad they continue to be bad” movies. Here are five of the worsthorror films from the 80sthat prove that there isn’t always an upside to schlock.
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
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The fourth film in theJawsfranchise for some reason decided to completely ignore the third film. Instead, the film is a direct sequel toJaws 2and focuses on Ellen Brody (Lorraine Grey.) Ellen is the widow of Chief Brody (Roy Scheider) the Chief of police on Amity Island and the main protagonist of the first two films. In this installment, Ellen comes to realize that the original shark has come to exact revenge on her family for her late husband’s actions. Yes,the shark from the originalJawshas returned seemingly from the grave to wipe out the Brody line.
Not only is the fourth film far-fetched, but it’s also just plain bad. Made in just nine months while the previous films took several years each, it was filled with plot holes, logical errors, and continuity disconnects. A terrible script with a rushed production, and sub-par effects all make this sequel one to skip.
Maximum Overdrive (1986)
Stephen King’s first, and only, directorial effort wasbased on his own short storyabout vehicles that suddenly become sentient and attempt to enslave the human race. The film stars Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle, and Yeardley Smith (the voice of Lisa Simpson) with an early appearance from Giancarlo Esposito. After a comet passes over Earth and somehow gives sentience to machinery, a group of patrons is stuck at a truck stop as vehicles menace them in the forecourt.
By his own admission, King was “coked out of [his] mind all through its production, and… really didn’t know what [he] was doing." It certainly shows. Not only is the film badly paced, badly acted, and filled with large swathes of time filler, the cinematographer Armando Nannuzzi lost his eye due to an on-set accident where a splinter was launched into his eyein a shot gone wrong.
Parasite (1982)
Directed by Full Moon Features king of schlock Charles Band (Puppet Master, Evil Bong)Parasitealso holds the dubious honor of being Demi Moore’s first feature film. Set in a post-atomic disaster future, the world is governed by the Merchants. This group of shadowy goons forces Dr. Paul Dean to create a new life form to control the population. The resulting titular parasite obviously escapes and goes on a parasitic killing spree threatening the whole world.
Terrible visual effects, a laborious viewing experience, and a thin script makethe experience ofParasiteconsiderably less fun than many of Full Moon’s other bad-but-good films. Luckily for Demi Moore, she escaped the legacy of the film unscathed.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987)
Starring and written by Jon Mikl Thor, known usually just as Thor, this hair metal horror show went straight to video. Metal band Triton heads to an isolated farmhouse to record new music. The farmhouse is, of course, filled with demons. One by one, everyone in the band is possessed apartfrom Thor’s characterJohn Triton. The film is self-insert fan fiction at its finest.
Not only has John Triton resisted the Devil himself, but he is also an Archangel called Intercessor. It really is a bafflingly bad script with terrible acting, awful effects, and not a grain of anything even approaching a fun film buried in it all.
Hobgoblins (1988)
The 1984classic filmGremlinsled to an explosion of films with a goofier tone coupled with gross little creatures. Films likeGhouliesandMunchiesall capitalized on the success ofGremlins, butundoubtedly the worst of these homages isHobgoblins. When Kevin takes a job as a nighttime security guard at an old film studio, he unwittingly unleashes a group of Hobgoblins living in a section of the studio. The Hobgoblins are actually aliens who crash-landed decades before and the current older security guard has been preventing them from escaping. This obviously makes perfect sense.
Once released, the Hobgoblins go about causing chaos with their hypnotic powers that make people’s wildest fantasies apparently come true. It’s a standard be careful what you wish for setup as each person’sfantasy turns against them. However, there is no threat apart from chaos. The plot is a boring excuse for sex, and in fact, ends with the “prudish” girlfriend agreeing to have sex with her boyfriend. Aside from the rampant misogyny of the film, the acting is terrible, the hobgoblins themselves are poor-quality puppets, and it’s simply a dull experience from the start.
