TheScooby-Doofranchise has been going strong since 1969. It’s taken breaks over its fifty-plus years on TV, but it has never gone away completely and probably never will. The last series before Velma wasScooby-Doo and Guess Whowhich began in 2019.
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That was a classic mystery show whereasVelmais all about humor. It’s not meant for kids and is instead aimed at adults who grew up with the various past iterations of theScooby-Doofranchise. These choice quotes are just some of the funniest examples inVelmafrom a good variety of characters.
There will be spoilers for the first four episodes.
8“Enough!”
This may not seem like a good line from Fred in episode one, but it is accompanied by stellar action. The scene opens with Velma walking into school, dressed like a popular girl. When she is accosted by someone for being a fake and starts getting mocked, Fred steps in to save the day yelling “Enough” as he chucks a paper cutter across the hall.
This paper cutter slices through a random teenager’s leg who is named Dandruff Tuba in the credits. This character may be random, but he is voiced by thelegendary Weird Al.
7“Well Well Well…”
Soon after this scene with Fred,Daphne takes Velmainto the bathroom to confront her about Fred. Daphne thinks Velma is trying to steal her boyfriend, which she isn’t. Daphne begins the conversation with a smug “Well well well” but she keeps getting interrupted by toilet flushes before she can move on.
She says this line three times before she can get to the point even after Velma interrupts her again. The anticipation of what Daphne is going to say is what makes this scene funny along with the awkward flushes.
6“Ah Crap, I’m All Syrupy…Bathies!”
For a show all about Velma, it’sfunny that Fredhas some of the best lines in the show so far. At first, it seems like he is an ignorant rich boy who doesn’t like unpopular kids like Velma. It is slowly revealed to the audience that he is so entitled as a rich boy that he can’t do a single thing without his butler or parents around.
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For example, when he starts to eat pancakes in episode two, he gets syrup all over himself. He then calls for his servant for “bathies” which becomes sort of a catchphrase for him between that word, cutties, and hoisties.
5“Rom-Coms Can Kiss My Ass.”
Norville is obsessed with Velma and wants to go out with her but he needs a plan. He eventually gets the bright idea to trysome rom-com trickshe learned from the movies. First, he wants to sell his kidney to get money to then blackmail Velma into dating him.
Then he thinks it would be a good idea to take an unpopular girl like her to the prom to showcase her inner beauty which fails tremendously. The episode ends with Norville standing in front of her house, dressed in a tuxedo, and he says this line after he sees Daphne and Velma kiss.
4“Is First Prize A Gun?”
Episode three is all about empowering the girls at Crystal Cove High to stand up for themselves. Daphne’s moms come in to train the girls on self-defense and even set up a tournament like in some giant anime to see who is the least likely to get victimized.
When the tournament is brought up,Velma asks sarcasticallyasks if a gun will be a prize. Daphne’s moms can’t sense the sarcasm, so they legitimately think that is a good idea. It’s a good joke on multiple levels, the funniest of which being that Daphne’s moms are constantly shown to be clueless cops.
While the girls learn self-defense at school, Norville learns about the power of cardigans in therapy. His father, Lamont, teaches his son that looking dumpy will make patients want to spill their feelings. In the final scene of episode three, Norville discovers a card in his dad’s cardigan for a mental asylum.
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Norville asks what that is about and Lamont tries to sidestep the question with this bad excuse. It’s a great delivery from Gary Cole, who plays Lamont, and adult cartoon fans may recognize him as Harvey Birdman fromHarvey Birdman: Attorney at Law.
2“Velma When She Ignores Me.”
After another victim is discovered in episode four, the police decide to give the “hot girls” of the town bodyguards. Velma throws a stink and is then tasked with coming up with who she thinks are the most attractive girls in school.
Other characters in the show try to come up with lists as well. For Norville, he hilariously lists Velma in every slot of his breakdown followed by a description. Besides the ignoring me line, Norville also writes “Velma when she smiles” and “Velma when she frowns.” Thisversion of Shaggyhas some issues when it comes to Velma.
1“Wanna Go To Hand Stuff Point?”
Fred goes through a change of heart in episode four after he reads a feminist book Velma gave him. It makes him see the inner beauty of women and teaches him to not be as sexist. He then gets attracted to Velma and asks her out at the end of the episode, but he gets rejected for still being a bit too gross.
The idea of going to a known place where teens make out is a trope in movies and shows. It’s funny to consider a place in any universe dedicated to just hand stuff especially if “Hand Stuff Point” is the real name of the location.
