NPCs inThe Elder Scrolls V: Skyrimlay somewhere between the ridiculousness ofOblivionNPCs and the over-elaborateMorrowindNPCs who often seemed to speak in riddles. Some of the most famous (and hilarious) quotes in gaming are from the fifthElder Scrollsentry, but there are plenty thatstick with players for goodreasons, too.
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Skyrimplayers who first made it to the peak of the Throat of the World are greeted with the poetic and verbose Paarthurnax, whose every line, performed by Charles Martinet, sounds like power and wisdom given voice. Well-written dialogue lines help greatly to characterize NPCs and build immersion, and the best stick in players' minds even a decade after the game’s initial release.
Updated July 25, 2025 by Erik Petrovich: Skyrim is a gigantic game, especially for the time it was released. There’s almost no end to the spoken dialogue in the game, and there’s a balance between humorous quips and genuinely thoughtful musings not seen in other Elder Scrolls games. Skyrim NPC phrases can sometimes be linked to things players have equipped, like with the Iron Sword or almost every Daedric Artifact. It can take a lot of playing the game to get these Skyrim NPC quotes to appear naturally in-game, but it’s always more fun to experience these moments on one’s own. If you don’t mind getting spoiled (for a game that’s over a decade old), these quotes are some of the game’s most revealing and most hilarious.
15Guards Don’t Think Highly of Iron Swords…
Guards inSkyrimare far from the relatively friendly sort found inOblivion. Part of that is the mechanic that gives Guards unique dialogue depending on what the player has equipped. For wielding the most basic of swords, they mock the player.
To hear this dialogue for yourself, simply equip an Iron Sword and walk up to the nearest Hold Guard. There’s a chance factor involved, so they might not say it immediately. This works for a variety of items in the game, including Daedric Artifacts.
14…And They Really Don’t Like Elven Blades
In addition to commenting on an equipped Iron Sword, hold guards will also mock players forusing an Elven Sword. This seems to happen more often in Stormcloak-controlled areas and among Stormcloak soldiers, but it can theoretically be triggered for any Guard in the game.
Just like with the Iron Sword, simply equip an Elven Sword and walk up to a Hold Guard to eventually get them to remark on your avoidance of good, local Nordic steel.
13Ulfric Stormcloak Explains His Burden
Ulfric Stormcloak is a controversial figure inSkyrim, to put it lightly. There are pros and cons to supporting the rebellious Stormcloak movement, but Ulfric has his own reasons to keep up the effort.
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No matter your thoughts on the Jarl of Windhelm, it’s easy to see where he’s coming from. What’s the point of everything he’s accomplished so far in his campaign if he doesn’t follow through to the end, as bitter as it could be?
12An Urge To Dance In The Void
The Keeper of the Night Mother’s Coffin is a love-him-or-hate-him kind of character. Cicero is found on the road outside Whiterun and again later when the player joins the Dark Brotherhood. When talked to in the sanctuary during the Dark Brotherhood questline, Cicero wonders whether he can continue to be a bombastic madman inthe endless nothingness of Sithis' Void.
Whether you eventually side with him or not, it’s off-the-wall quotes like this that make Cicero permanently live in every player’s mind rent-free.
11How To Threaten a Khajiit
When enemies fight certain races inSkyrimthey sometimes come out with unique battlecries. When a Khajiit goes up against one of the game’s various human races, they will oftentimes threaten them with a good skinning.
It’s a pretty good thing to yell at a Khajiit in a fight, particularly when one considers how much their hides go for on the black market. Just read the in-game bookConfessions of a Khajiit Fur Traderto learn about this particularly dark part of the Khajiit underworld.
10Hrongar’s Utter Martial Confidence
Hrongar is the younger brother of the Jarl of Whiterun, Jarl Balgruff the Greater, who is usually foundsitting at the great dining tablein Dragonsreach. Hrongar is a fervent believer in the Old Ways of the Nords, and remarks on the player’s interactions with the Greybeards when the trio first summons them to High Hrothgar.
When the player talks to him outside of a cutscene, Hrongar will sometimes remark the above, a metaphor that gives the impression that he isn’t someone to be messed with succinctly.
9Urag gro-Shub Hasn’t Got Time For Dumb Questions
Urag gro-Shub is the enigmatic Librarian of the College of Winterhold’s Arcaeneum, whose library and rare tomes offer a glimpse into themany corners of Tamrielic lore. Urag gro-Shub is protective of his library and is particularly rude to the Dragonborn, even if they become the leader of the College of Winterhold.
Later in the game, when asking who wrote the Elder Scrolls, gro-Shub will answer, “It would take a month to explain to you how that very question doesn’t even make sense.” He then begrudgingly wraps up the origins of the Elder Scrolls in a few sentences, though one gets the feeling that it goes much deeper than a minute’s worth of voice lines.
8Paarthurnax’s Great Question
Paarthurnax is the secretive head of the Greybeards, a dragon older than just about everything else in Tamriel whose voice sounds like none other. The player gets many opportunities to talk with Paarthurnax towards the end of the main questline, and heserves as a fountain of knowledgeand inspiration for the Dragonborn.
When asking Paarthurnax about the dragons, and about the evilness of Dragons, Paarthurnax asks the question, “What is better - to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?” It’s a deeply philosophical question whose answer isn’t presented to the Dragonborn, or the player for that matter.
7Conjuration For Hire
If the player is particularly proficient in one area of the game, or if they have enough skill in Magicka specifically, NPCs will start to react to the player as they pass by. Guards in particular comment on the weapon or spell the player currently has equipped if it is out, sometimes warning about using dangerous spells.
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Sometimes, a Guard who notices a Magic-oriented player will snidely remark, “hail summoner, conjure me up a warm bed would you?” It’s one of those things that makes one wish it was easier to get away with killing Guards, but alas.
6The Lowly Guardsman
Guards have a lot to say, despite the player never seeing their face beneath their helmets (unless looting their corpse, that is). Guards in Whiterun have particularly well-remembered lines as it’s a place mostplayers are intimately familiar with, being one of the very first major settlements in the game.
When passing by Whiterun guards in particular, they might remark, “My cousin’s out fighting dragons, and what do I get? Guard duty.” It makes one feel a little sad for the guard, but he’s probably safer inside the city walls anyway.
